Dear Debby

The Alternative Press’s local personal advice columnist offers

uncommon common sense answers to your most pressing questions.

Dear Debby,

I'm a widow in my late 50s but look (and act) a good ten years younger 

than that.  I have a lot more in common with younger men and so far that's 

not been a problem but as I am getting older, my friends think I need to act 

my age and settle down with someone my own age.  I love my friends but 

think they need to mind their own business on this.  Should I be listening to 

them?
 
 
Sleepless in Summit

Dear Sleepless in Summit,

I think that your friends mean well and it is always nice to have people that 

care about you BUT.... what they want for you and what you want may be 

two different things.  Two things you said in your letter stand out to me.
 
 
First of all, you stated that you are a widow.  You may very well have had a 

long, wonderful relationship and are ready to just discover who you are now.  

One does not just “settle down” with the snap of a finger.  When you have 

had sufficient time to adjust to the loss of your husband and discover who 

you are as an individual and not part of a couple, you will come into your 

own and begin to see what really makes YOU happy.  
 
 
The second thing you mentioned was that you have more in common with 

younger men and that so far it has not been a problem.  So what's the 

problem??? 
 
 
Interact with people you enjoy being with, be happy and if 

you meet someone to spend the rest of your life with (sounds so much 

better than “settle down”...who wants to “settle down”?)
 
 
Live life to the fullest.  Enjoy each day and be happy.  The rest will come 

around if you are true to yourself.

Debby

Debby is a resident in one of our three towns. She’s seen a lot, done a lot, been through a lot and welcomes your questions and requests for advice at deardebby@thealternativepress.com

(The views expressed are those of the author, who is also responsible for the content of the column.)