Your Neighborhood News Online
Showing articles in Main Street Musings
Meet the In-Laws
April 25, 2013
Marriage is a package deal. You open the package—you deal with the in-laws. No exchange policy, no returns, no ...
My Husband Gave Me a Complex For Our Anniversary
March 7, 2013
An anniversary is a day of remembrance—when we remember how good we used to look when we first got married. It’s also ...
Revelations from My First CAbi Party
February 7, 2013
I was wary when my friend Patty invited me to a trunk show called CAbi that she was hosting. In New Jersey a tru...
When It Doesn’t Pay to Take a Staycation
January 10, 2013
When my husband Chris told me he wanted to take a family vacation during our children’s winter break, I resisted. I told him...
Thoughts and Prayers
December 19, 2012
In deference to the heartbreaking tragedy last Friday, I have departed from my weekly Musings to send thoughts and prayers to the...
Five Mistakes to Avoid at Your Hanukkah Party
December 13, 2012
Hanukkah commemorates the rededication of the Holy Temple in Jerusalem. It’s an occasion my husband and I mark by throwing an an...
Animal Skin “Hide”-and-Seek
December 6, 2012
I have an affinity for animal skins. Not only do I drive a car with leather car seats and carry an alligator pocketbook, I ...
I’m Keeping Victoria’s Secret
November 29, 2012
They say you can tell a lot about someone by looking at her garbage, but you can also tell a lot about someone from looking at her cat...
The Tongue and the Restless
November 23, 2012
Some of us grew up under constant correction from parents and teachers about our back posture: “sit up straight,&rdqu...
Previews of Coming Contractions
November 14, 2012
Home delivery used to mean a mustached man named Raul driving an oxidized Ford Pinto and tossing the morning newspaper into our neighb...
Black Coffee in Bed
November 7, 2012
Please forgive me But I’ve been in no mood to muse Ever since my power lines Blew a Frankenfuse. I sh...
The Graveyard Beneath My Window
November 1, 2012
We stood in the graveyard; my husband, his parents, my three kids and me, looking out onto the crop of scattered, moss covered tombsto...
The Flippant Flosser
October 25, 2012
There are certain things in life that we do because we have to, like eat, drink, and sleep. There are other things we do because...
The Hole Truth
October 17, 2012
If you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to be in solitary confinement and imprisoned without human contact, just ask a robb...
Getting It Off My Chest
October 11, 2012
For days after writing “The Boob Pillow,” I dreamed about breast enhancing products. I couldn’t get them out of ...
The Boob Pillow
October 4, 2012
We gals have long vocalized our complaints about unwanted chest lines that blemish our otherwise sexy cleavage. You know, the ki...
If He Only “Nude” What I Knew
September 27, 2012
My husband Chris and I stared at the sample drawings scattered across our kitchen table as we pondered whether to commission a local a...
How to Eat a Pomegranate (Without Scraping Seeds Off the Ceiling)
September 19, 2012
What’s tough on the outside and beautifully bizarre on the inside? Clue: It’s not Clint Eastwood’s Republ...
Know Thy Nostrils—Know Thyself
September 12, 2012
There’s an Ancient Greek saying, “Know Thyself.” It is thought that Socrates came up with this guiding rule duri...
Bury Me in a Pine Box (And Other Last Wishes)
August 28, 2012
When I die, by Jewish law Rest me in a pine box. There are no rules for last meals So pass a bagel—hold the lox. ...
Happiness for Sale
August 22, 2012
Is anybody happy? I wondered. If the volume of self-help books (How to Feel Better, How to Look Better, How to Write a Self-...
Mom’s Letter to Camp
August 14, 2012
Sunday, July 29 Dear Heather, Henry and Elizabeth, Dad and I made good time driving back home from Camp Goodriddance last nigh...
Why It Won’t Kill You to Try Squash Blossoms
August 8, 2012
There are certain things in life that for obvious reasons, we shouldn’t eat— things like human flesh, cats, and my meatloa...
Lessons of the Road Trip From Hell
August 2, 2012
I used to travel to exotic places, act spontaneously and take risks. Now, adventure is a hibachi dinner at Benihana. An ep...
House Hunters International: An Episode Close to Home
July 25, 2012
While picking up Thai take-out, my husband Chris and I ran into friends Robin and Ben who explained they were enjoying their last gour...