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Main Street Musings

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    Meet the In-Laws
    by Lisa Tognola
    April 25, 2013

      Marriage is a package deal. You open the package—you deal with the in-laws.  No exchange policy, no returns, no ...

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    My Husband Gave Me a Complex For Our Anniversary
    by Lisa Tognola
    March 7, 2013

    An anniversary is a day of remembrance—when we remember how good we used to look when we first got married. It’s also ...

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    Revelations from My First CAbi Party
    by Lisa Tognola
    February 7, 2013

    I was wary when my friend Patty invited me to a trunk show called CAbi that she was hosting.   In New Jersey a tru...

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    When It Doesn’t Pay to Take a Staycation
    by Lisa Tognola
    January 10, 2013

    When my husband Chris told me he wanted to take a family vacation during our children’s winter break, I resisted. I told him...

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    Thoughts and Prayers
    by Lisa Tognola
    December 19, 2012

    In deference to the heartbreaking tragedy last Friday, I have departed from my weekly Musings to send thoughts and prayers to the...

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    Five Mistakes to Avoid at Your Hanukkah Party
    by Lisa Tognola
    December 13, 2012

    Hanukkah commemorates the rededication of the Holy Temple in Jerusalem. It’s an occasion my husband and I mark by throwing an an...

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    Animal Skin “Hide”-and-Seek
    by Lisa Tognola
    December 6, 2012

    I have an affinity for animal skins.  Not only do I drive a car with leather car seats and carry an alligator pocketbook, I ...

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    I’m Keeping Victoria’s Secret
    by Lisa Tognola
    November 29, 2012

    They say you can tell a lot about someone by looking at her garbage, but you can also tell a lot about someone from looking at her cat...

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    The Tongue and the Restless
    by Lisa Tognola
    November 23, 2012

      Some of us grew up under constant correction from parents and teachers about our back posture: “sit up straight,&rdqu...

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    Previews of Coming Contractions
    by Lisa Tognola
    November 14, 2012

    Home delivery used to mean a mustached man named Raul driving an oxidized Ford Pinto and tossing the morning newspaper into our neighb...

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    Black Coffee in Bed
    by Lisa Tognola
    November 7, 2012

    Please forgive me But I’ve been in no mood to muse Ever since my power lines Blew a Frankenfuse.   I sh...

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    The Graveyard Beneath My Window
    by Lisa Tognola
    November 1, 2012

    We stood in the graveyard; my husband, his parents, my three kids and me, looking out onto the crop of scattered, moss covered tombsto...

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    The Flippant Flosser
    by Lisa Tognola
    October 25, 2012

    There are certain things in life that we do because we have to, like eat, drink, and sleep.  There are other things we do because...

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    The Hole Truth
    by Lisa Tognola
    October 17, 2012

    If you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to be in solitary confinement and imprisoned without human contact, just ask a robb...

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    Getting It Off My Chest
    by Lisa Tognola
    October 11, 2012

    For days after writing “The Boob Pillow,” I dreamed about breast enhancing products. I couldn’t get them out of ...

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    The Boob Pillow
    by Lisa Tognola
    October 4, 2012

    We gals have long vocalized our complaints about unwanted chest lines that blemish our otherwise sexy cleavage.  You know, the ki...

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    If He Only “Nude” What I Knew
    by Lisa Tognola
    September 27, 2012

    My husband Chris and I stared at the sample drawings scattered across our kitchen table as we pondered whether to commission a local a...

  • How to Eat a Pomegranate (Without Scraping Seeds Off the Ceiling)
    by Lisa Tognola
    September 19, 2012

    What’s tough on the outside and beautifully bizarre on the inside?   Clue: It’s not Clint Eastwood’s Republ...

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    Know Thy Nostrils—Know Thyself
    by Lisa Tognola
    September 12, 2012

    There’s an Ancient Greek saying, “Know Thyself.” It is thought that Socrates came up with this guiding rule duri...

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    Bury Me in a Pine Box (And Other Last Wishes)
    by Lisa Tognola
    August 28, 2012

    When I die, by Jewish law Rest me in a pine box. There are no rules for last meals So pass a bagel—hold the lox. ...

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    Happiness for Sale
    by Lisa Tognola
    August 22, 2012

    Is anybody happy?  I wondered. If the volume of self-help books (How to Feel Better, How to Look Better, How to Write a Self-...

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    Mom’s Letter to Camp
    by Lisa Tognola
    August 14, 2012

    Sunday, July 29 Dear Heather, Henry and Elizabeth, Dad and I made good time driving back home from Camp Goodriddance last nigh...

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    Why It Won’t Kill You to Try Squash Blossoms
    by Lisa Tognola
    August 8, 2012

    There are certain things in life that for obvious reasons, we shouldn’t eat— things like human flesh, cats, and my meatloa...

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    Lessons of the Road Trip From Hell
    by Lisa Tognola
    August 2, 2012

    I used to travel to exotic places, act spontaneously and take risks.  Now, adventure is a hibachi dinner at Benihana.  An ep...

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    House Hunters International: An Episode Close to Home
    by Lisa Tognola
    July 25, 2012

    While picking up Thai take-out, my husband Chris and I ran into friends Robin and Ben who explained they were enjoying their last gour...