The Alternative Press
Your Neighborhood News Online
Showing articles in Main Street Musings
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How to Bake a Chicken Without Flipping the Bird
May 22, 2012As the descendent of an old world Russian Jewish grandmother who spent more time preparing a chicken than I spent preparing for my wed...
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Why Did the Camel Cross the Road?
May 15, 2012Last summer my family took a trip to Israel. After my visit to one of the holiest, most magnificent and diverse destinations in ...
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If It’s Asparagus, Why Does My Pee Smell Like Cabbage?
May 7, 2012Nobody tells you. It’s something you have to learn for yourself, the same way girls learn to pee sitting down and boys learn to ...
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From Tooth Fairy to Truth Fairy
April 30, 2012If you were at a party and someone told you that a winged creature in tights would fly to your house during the night and deliver mone...
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Erma Bombeck Writers’ Workshop: The Meat and Potatoes (And the Chocolate Cake)
April 23, 2012I arrived home from The 2012 Erma Bombeck Writers’ Workshop in Dayton, Ohio a little wiser, a little happier, and...
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Just Shoot Me
April 16, 2012Photo shoots are generally reserved for those who model, act or willingly take off their clothes for poses most people would only stri...
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Dog Walking: A New Religion
April 9, 2012Dog walking can be a religious experience. It’s got all the elements—dogma, movements and prophets. Each morning I har...
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Confessions of a Mallomar Maniac
April 2, 2012February 1, 2012 Dear Nabisco, I am a Mallomar maniac. I can’t get enough of that luscious graham cracker circle covered...
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Ten Reasons Why I Love My Husband
March 26, 2012After twenty years of marriage, I still love my husband. Here are ten reasons why: 1. He shares three kids with m...
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Growing Pains
March 19, 2012There’s only one thing harder than raising a child, and that’s raising a teenager. You’re suddenly faced with ...
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Bracing for My Blind Date
March 12, 2012Last Saturday I went on a blind date, something I hadn’t done since college when my date Mike brought along his dog Bandit ...
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I Don’t Dig Earworms
March 5, 2012Some melodies are hard to shake. They can lodge in your brain as relentlessly as the accelerator on a Toyota. We’ve all experien...
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Pinterest— It’s Sexy and You Know It
February 27, 2012There’s a new brand of social media and it’s spreading faster than legs on a Playboy model. It’s a photo-sharing...
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Age is Just a Number
February 20, 2012As a mother of three, my days are normally consumed by the three “S”’s—schlepping, schlepping, and more schlep...
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Facebook Addiction?
February 13, 2012I’ve finally discovered, through Facebook, a great way to find old friends, schedule events, play games, and send virtual gifts,...
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Geocaching: Free Entertainment That Comes at a Price
February 11, 2012If you have a strong sense of adventure and enjoy outdoor activities like hiking, rock climbing and sweeping landmines, you’ll l...
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Got Blood?
January 30, 2012I like to think of myself as a generous person willing to give of myself, whether of my money, time, or bodily fluids. Twice a yea...
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Valentine’s Day Hunk
January 23, 2012Valentine’s Day is just around the corner and I’m not taking it too seriously—at least not in my parody ad for a &ld...
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The Waiting is the Hardest Part
January 16, 2012Going to the doctor isn’t fun. You wait for hours. You answer lots of personal questions. You get p...
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Freshly Pressed
January 9, 2012If you’ve never heard of Freshly Pressed, it’s a feature on WordPress that promotes blogs. Each weekday WordPress selects ...
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Why Snowboarding’s Not So Gnarly
January 2, 2012If you haven’t heard, asphyxiation and foot binding aren’t just for waterboarding anymore. Water torture has a froze...
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Holiday Cards: Signed, Sealed, Delivered (and Outsourced)
December 19, 2011December is a time of year steeped in tradition—a time when we catch the holiday spirit, a time when we celebrate with fami...
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A Trip Down PMS Lane with Facebook’s Timeline (Social Network Parody)
December 16, 2011Dear Facebook User, As you know, we here at Facebook encourage you to share everything about yourself— birthdays,...
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My Jewish Santa
December 12, 2011Some things are easy to take for granted, like Christmas. People get caught up in the hoopla and forget that not everyone in the w...
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Bear Hunt in New Jersey: A Grisly Affair
December 6, 2011WARNING: This may include content that is mildly rude and not appropriate for young children, animal rights activists, or Yogi B...