The Alternative Press

Reel Reviews
Movie: “Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters” Is A Twist on an Old Story
January 30, 2013
Rating: 2.5 out 5 stars

We all know the fairytale: food is scarce, so Hansel and Gretel’s father and stepmother decide to abandon them in the woods in order to be able to survive themselves. Overhearing their parents’ plans, the siblings leave a trail of breadcrumbs to lead them back to their house. Unfortunately the breadcrumbs are eaten by birds leaving the children to wander the woods for several days, tired and starving. They stumble upon a house made of cake and candy and, of course, indulge. They are confronted by the decrepit, old woman of the delicious house, who offers them sanctuary and safety, only to turn out to be a witch with cannibalistic tendencies. Hansel and Gretel outsmart and kill the witch, escaping back to their father. They all live happily ever after, the end.

Well, according to “Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters” that was not the end of the siblings story.

Now adults, Hansel (Jeremy Renner, “The Avengers”) and Gretel (Gemma Arterton, “Quantum of Solace”) are renowned witch hunters and they are hired by a Mayor to help find and bring back several missing children and slay the witch that has stolen them. As the siblings investigate the situation, they discover a ritual involving the rare, upcoming Blood Moon, a head evil witch (Famke Janssen, “X-Men”) with ties to their parents and befriend several interesting allies.  

Let’s be honest: if you are going to see “Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters” chances are you are not going in to it expecting to see an Oscar worthy piece of cinema. You may be surprised though, to find yourself enjoying the film, no matter how much you know you should not be.

The plot is basic, but the fast pacing works in the films favor. Renner, Arterton and Janssen all perform their roles adequately, but are certainly nothing to write home about. The choreography in the fight and action scenes, of which there are many, is engaging and fun. My audience, especially during the beginning of the film, had pleasant vocal reactions to the kills/explosions/fights/etc. and clearly enjoyed the camp of it all.

Camp and witty quips aside, the film is extremely violent and extremely bloody; both elements are a strong constant throughout. If blood, realistic or blatantly CGI, in any way makes you queasy, avoid this film at all costs.

Overall, “Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters” is a fun popcorn movie that one can watch passively. Just sit back, relax and do not think at all about what you are watching.         

“Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters” runs 88 minutes and is rated R for strong fantasy horror violence and gore, brief nudity/ sexuality and language. It is in theaters now.